wow

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while. I've been unbelievably busy.

Main thing is that I have been smoke free for like four or five days. The bad gas has subsided. Now all I have wrong with me as a side-effect is seemingly cognitive impairment. Not good.

I have seven classes plus like 12 hours of lab. I will write more this weekend sometime and give details. I'm a little overwhelmed.

Take care!!

Day 3 on Chantix

So yesterday I felt fine on the Chantix. I definitely have some seriously offensive gas, but that's nothing new to me, unfortunately. It is like when I was drinking those protein shakes every day with soy protein in them. I have been smoking way less already. You're technically not supposed to quit for a week after starting but I have a feeling it might be less for me.

I slept fine last night, but woke up this morning with a slight headache. I took some Excedrin and drank some coffee. It's gone now. I felt like I wanted to smoke when I was having my coffee and I tried, but could only smoke part of a cigarette. I still had that unsatisfied feeling like I still wanted a cigarette so I decided to go ahead and make my bagel so I could take my Chantix.

I took the Chantix after I ate and now I feel no desire to smoke. I do feel a little tired, which is something everyone on the forums was complaining about. My stomach feels a little odd, but nothing major. Not outright nausea or anything. The gas continues. I think tomorrow I am supposed to begin taking .5 mg twice a day. We'll see how that goes. I have a lot of things I need to try to do today, but am not sure if I'll have the energy to do them. I hope I will. God knows, the last thing I need is something that is going to make me even *more* lazy, but if I quit smoking from it, I guess that outweighs the bad part?

Not too bad so far...

Last night I went to, not the state fair, which is closeby, but the Wilson County fair way the fuck out in Lebanon. That's like the equivalent of Newnan to Atlanta. Anyway, Tanya came to get me with this girl Sam who is 21, and we went and got another girl, Courtney, who I think is older than 21 but younger than me. Anyway, Sam was very nice. Courtney warmed up but she seemed a little hard-edged. She's very pretty and she does nails down in Franklin.

Anyway, we didn't even leave until like 8:30. So, we got there and they had a demolition derby going on, which was something I had never seen in real life. Then we walked around and it was your typical fair except they had square-dancing and shit I just don't see in Atlanta. Lots of booths with t-shirts and stuff with "American By Birth, Southern By the Grace of God" and "These colors don't run." on them. Which I think rule, btw. I almost bought some stars & bars thong panties, but they had the company's name on them so that ruined them for me.

So, I didn't want to eat any of the fair food because I'm trying to lose a couple of pounds. We bought a hand stamp for $18 which allowed us to ride all the rides instead of paying $2 - $5 each ride. I had this great idea to ride this one ride, thinking it was like the Gravitron, but it was not. Courtney and I rode it and we both felt sick afterwards. Apparently (and I first noticed this at the fair last year in Spain) I get motion sickness now and don't really enjoy amusement park rides like I did when I was younger. This is a bummer to me.

I wanted to opt out on the next couple of rides. We ended up standing in line for a long time for this one ride that looked really wimpy but ended up being very scary. It was hilarious to me and I was laughing the whole time. We got a picture of ourselves on it.

I got really tired and after a few more things we left. It was like 12:30 and it was my bedtime! So, it was an interesting experience. I saw all sorts of rednecks, including a woman who was clearly about six or seven months pregnant smoking a cigarette. Definitely not something you see so much in Atlanta.

Tonite I have a social event at some restaurant by school for people in my program. It's a pre-orientation gathering I guess. Since I don't know anyone it will be interesting to see how I figure out who I am supposed to be looking for. It's at 6pm. There are events going on all week and next weekend. I will try to go to as many as I can, I guess, to try to be involved and make some friends.

state fair

I'm about to go to the state fair with that Tanya chick and some other chick. I hear there are livestock and shit, just like a real state fair. Should be interesting.

I'm gonna see if they will stop and let me buy a lottery ticket. It's up to 300 million.

Write more later.

Chantix

Ok, so yesterday I went down to student health and spoke to a nurse practitioner about getting on Chantix to quit smoking. She gave me the script and then I had lunch with my "buddy" Rebecca. Rebecca is a 2nd year student in my program that I have been paired up with as my "buddy" to help me figure out what the hell is going on. Anyway, after lunch I went and got the script filled and went home.

They step you up with the dosage. The first three days you take .5 mg once a day. Then they step you up to two .5 mg a day. Then after like a week of that you go up again, etc. I took my pill yesterday when I got home. I was tired so I took a nap. When I got up, I felt like I might be getting a headache. Ended up getting a migraine which kicked into full gear around 5am so I had to take one of my migraine pills then.

Woke up with remnants of it this morning but it went away. I was very tired and felt thick-headed, but that might have been from the migraine pill. Anyway, I read a lot of forums today about side effects of this drug and I'm a little worried. I decided to take my dose today after eating (to avoid nausea) and see if I got another headache. It's now almost 8pm and I'm fine. I have definitely cut down on my smoking today, even though technically you are supposed to keep smoking your first week and set your quit date a week after you start.

A lot of people have trouble sleeping on this drug, and also undergo some of the withdrawal symptoms of quitting nicotine, like tiredness, thirst, etc. I'm definitely going to watch out for that. I did have trouble sleeping last night, but that might have been because I took a nap.

I really want this to work for me with minimal suffering. It was expensive, and also, I don't see another realistic way for me to quit smoking at the moment.

I'll keep updating my progress.

busy busy

Well, today I had to go down to Student Health to get more shots and to have blood drawn for an additional test. All this is required since I am in the medical school and will be working with patients. I made an appointment for Friday to talk to a doctor about getting on Chantix, the newest anti-smoking drug. So, I might begin being a non-smoker this weekend! I just hope I don't gain a bunch of weight. That will be unacceptable.

Going to try to get my license and car registered today if possible. I have to find the title for my car. I thought I knew where it was, but it wasn't there. I also need two proofs of residency and all this other bullshit like I mentioned in a previous post. Yesterday I got the emissions inspection so I have that at least.

Also, I'm up for my new phone with Verizon. I am probably going to get the LG nV. I have vowed in the past to never purchase an LG phone ever because I hate their interface, but Mack has one and it's really cool. I want the kind I can type text messages on. They have two, a Samsung and the LG. Stefan has the Samsung and he likes it. Mack has the LG and he likes his. The Samsung seems a little bit of a bad design with the one hinge that goes in two directions. Also, the keyboard seems very cramped. The LG, well, it's an LG and I hate their phones. But, I'm hoping that I will like this one. I'm 90% decided but I will make my final determination at the counter today. I get $100 off the phone. Yay!

I will write more later about the credit card fraud that happened to me, as well as the home invasion robbery that happened in the neighborhood I grew up in.

Bye!

Shout out to Frederick Cooper.

I just wanted to say, it's these kinds of things that makes life great. So many times I have horrible experiences with customer service at different companies and government agencies. It's very nice to be able to tell a happy story like this:

Just before I moved to CA in 1995, my parents bought me some furniture. One of the pieces was a lamp by Frederick Cooper. It's a bronze cat on a wooden base. This is an expensive lamp. So, the movers took all the finials off all my lamps when moving me to CA, and proceeded to lose them. The finial for this lamp was a bronze acorn. I've had a lame replacement finial on there all these years.

When I was unpacking this lamp a few days ago, I thought to myself, "Hmmm. I wonder if I email Frederick Cooper, whether they can find me a way to get a replacement finial."

So, I did. I got a response within the day from a woman who told me she would look into it and get back to me the following week. This was like Thursday or Friday of last week. So today I had an email when I got up saying she had found the finial and had already put it in the mail for me. It was the very last one! I asked her what I owed her and she said, "Nothing. Just enjoy your lamp."

Wow.

So, if you are in the market for a lamp, I highly recommend Frederick Cooper.

Frederick Cooper

Getting out a little bit

Last night a woman named Tanya who I met at the Hillsboro Road group meeting the first time I went to it invited me to go out to see her friend play at a restaurant near here called the Family Wash. It was pretty good. The place was really cute. The guy's name is Matt, and he looked familiar. He told me he recognized me from somewhere, especially after he saw my tattoo. He apparently just played at the Variety Playhouse but I wasn't there. Anyway, his music is basically southern rock/country but it wasn't bad. I dunno where I know him from but...that happens all the time.

Today Tanya picked me up this morning and drove me to the Back Door group which meets Saturdays and Sundays at 10:30am. Big meeting, pretty good. Everyone was nice. It's weird because Tanya looks exactly like Heather, Tyler's baby mama. She invited me to go with them to someone's pool, but it's too hot and I have to get a bikini wax before I can put on a bathing suit. It's sooooooooo hot here.

I might go to the 8:00 meeting near my house with her tonite. Depends on how I feel. I had to get up pretty early this morning to get to that meeting in time to get a seat.

K that's all I have for now.

Bastards!

So I got a call from AMEX today. Apparently somehow someone has made a counterfeit card with my card number and has been using it all over Atlanta. The charge that sent up the fraud flag was an attempted purchase for $500 at a CVS in 30308 yesterday. They also went out to eat at various restaurants, bought stuff at Kroger and bought gas in 30305. They have canceled my card and are issuing me a new one. Now I will have to go back and check all the charges on my card to verify them all, but now the site is down so I can't. Thinking about how often I use my card at restaurants makes me angry. That is one of the most common ways they get your card information. When the server takes your card off to go run it, they can get all the information off it and then get a fake card made. Such a pain in the ass now I have to change my card number on all the various and sundry websites that has that card listed. To think that these fucking servers that I always tip well would steal my card info really pisses me off. Maybe it was one I didn't tip. I don't think that has happened in a while. The only one that comes to mind is the one at Applebee's in Marietta, but I paid cash for that meal. Grrr! I wish they could flag my card number and then catch the person the next time they attempt to use it. That would be nice.

Welcome to the jungle

So...

Last night, I was in my bed reading at about 10:30pm. There was a helicopter flying around but I wasn't really conscious of it. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a very bright white light coming from the window and heard a siren and suddenly it all came together - there was a search helicopter shining its light in my backyard, and apparently police were in pursuit on the ground.

This brought back memories of living in Hollywood, or more accurately, Silverlake (right on the eastern border of Hollywood between Hollywood and East LA.) Although, when I lived there, we lived on the 2nd story of a duplex behind a locked gate. No way anyone could or would really come up and try to get in our house. We had search helicopters all the time shining their light on our balcony and up and down our street. One night, someone got shot right down the hill from us on Sunset Blvd. But that's LA. I was never scared. Most of it was gang violence, anyway, and the Mexican gangs in our area never fucked with white people. In fact, one of our dealers was in a gang and we knew we could always drop his name. Plus, my bf at the time spoke Spanish. I felt pretty safe around there. The fact that I was on drugs might have helped that along.

Even in Huntington Beach they had search helicopters fairly often, but usually it was just someone robbing a liquor store or somesuch. Used to be in Atlanta, if someone escaped from GMHI (Georgia Mental Health Institute) they would do the same thing, but that has long since become something other than a mental hospital.

At any rate, I've been living in Lake Claire/Candler Park for the past six years. I'd gotten used to being in a very safe neighborhood. We took walks late at night, and when I lived on Lakeshore, I never even locked my car. On Tuxedo, we always left the door unlocked in the daytime, even when we weren't home. I got out of the habit of thinking about crime.

So, last night, after I realized a suspect was on the loose, I got kind of scared. My bedroom is on the ground floor, in the corner of the back of the house with tons of windows. We also have a carport/shed in back. Even though we have an alarm system, I went upstairs to the bathroom and looked out the window to see if anyone was in the shed. I followed the search helicopter and saw it had gone to the southwest. After a few minutes, I went back to my room. Then, it came by very close again so I went back upstairs. I was actually kind of frightened that someone may go running through our yard or be hiding in the carport. It was really weird to have those feelings. It has been a very long time.

My neighborhood is "transitional." It's pretty much in about the same state as East Atlanta. I guess this is just something I'm going to have to get used to again. Not really that big of a deal. It was just a good reminder. I'm used to crackheads and hookers so no biggie there. Although I haven't seen any of those in my hood just yet, I know they are not far away. Maybe it's because I live with my mom and we don't have a gun. In LA I lived with a guy and he did have a gun. Even when I stayed with Jeremy, we had a Great Dane as well as a gun. I think Judge was the bigger deterrent for criminals lol.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that. I will post more on my neighborhood later.

back in the ville of Nash

So, I'm back in Nashville. It was nice to be home, although I didn't see quite as many people as I had planned to when I was home. It's always that way. I got everything done that I needed to do, and that was good.

Everything went well with the cat sitter. She's very cheap! Although, I must say, the ones we had in Atlanta were so great, even though they charged more. This one is really a no-frills kind of sitter. I think she prefers dogs. But, at least we have someone.

I was looking on the web last night for information on getting our cars registered here and getting drivers licenses here. It's really crazy! You have to have your old drivers license, a passport or birth certificate, and two proofs of residence to get a TN license. And to register your car, you have to have the actual emissions certificate which you have to obtain in one of only six inspection stations in the Nashville area, your drivers license, two proofs of residence as well as the title to your car or a letter from your lienholder. This will not be a problem for me, but my mom's birth certificate is in a box someplace in the shed and she doesn't have her title because it never got sent to her. But, they have some really cool special plates here. I'm going to get a Vanderbilt one and I think my mom is going to get one with a cat on it. click here to see them. Hers is under Miscellaneous and it goes to art foundation. It has a cat playing the saxophone.

Today we are going to a cattery to look at some ragdoll kittens. We're planning to get two of them once they are old enough to go home. They wait until they are 12 weeks. Since we lost three cats this year, we feel the house is empty with only our three remaining cats. Except when I was very young and my parents bought a Cornish Rex, (my first cat), we've never purchased a cat before. All of our myriad of cats have always been rescues. We feel somewhat guilty for paying for cats when there are so many cats that need homes in shelters, but honestly, I just want the peace of mind of knowing the cats are not at risk for certain diseases, like the one that killed Timmy. Ragdolls do not have any inherent diseases common to the breed. They very carefully control the breeding of that particular breed. You cannot get a Ragdoll that is not neutered or spayed unless you are a licensed breeder. I just can't handle losing another baby cat right now.

Other than that, we have to keep it going with the unpacking and stuff. That has slowed down a lot. I have so many things on my mind at once. A woman from that meeting I went to called me and wants to hang out. My "buddy" (which is a 2nd year student that has been paired up with me in my program at school) wants to hang out, and I need to get to some more meetings. Also, I have a lot of school stuff to think about, and I would like to hang out with that Kat girl who is a Vandy student that I met at that meeting. In addition, I should call my sponsor, I need to go buy a hose and sprinkler for our yard, and other things. I have a hose someplace in a box in the shed. None of the boxes from the basement are marked so it would be a big job looking in all of them, especially since they are all stacked up on top of each other and the shed is about 150 degrees.

I guess everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I better get going with this stuff. I will write more later.

home again

So, I'm home in Atlanta for the weekend. It's very nice to be home. We drove in Friday. I'll be leaving Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. I'm on a small laptop so I don't really feel like typing too much right now but I'll just say that today I went to Amber's baby shower. It was nice. Tonite I'm going to the 8:00 e atl meeting. Ok I'll write more later!

little by little

So today I put away almost all my clothes and am working on shoes. I have more closet space than I thought, which is definitely good. I'm going to have to put my coats on the rolling rack that's in the attic space because we don't have a coat closet anywhere. It's SO hot here! I had to wait until night time to put together the rolling rack because the attic is way too hot. Even at night it's really hot.

I called the cat sitter today and she's coming over tomorrow, so that's good. Got our shipment of raw food in for the cats today, which is also good. Also called some lawn people and they are going to come give estimates next week. Gotta call the maid service tomorrow.

Today we went to Harris Teeter, which is on the other side of town near school. It's awesome! I like it because it's like a combination of whole foods plus a regular grocery store. You can get normal shit there plus really yummy shit. There isn't a Whole Foods yet here, although their website says they are building one here that is supposed to open sometime this year. It's supposed to be right near the Harris Teeter. So we got some really good shit for dinner and dessert.

Trying to get my clothes and shoes unpacked so my room is not full of boxes and so I can see what to pack for my weekend back home. I'm staying with Mack and Kat. I have a podiatrist appointment at 3:30 Friday afternoon, then we have to go by our old house so we can get the rest of the deposit back from our landlord. I'm planning to go to the 5:45 on Friday and East Atlanta on Saturday. Friday night Black Mona Lisa is playing at ISP, which Michael A has invited me to go to with him so I will probably do that. They are good - James, if you are reading this, you would probably like them. I *might* stay over Monday night so I can see The Seraphix at Smith's that night but I'm not sure yet.

I blew off Thrill Kill Kult Sunday night, even though I really wanted to see them. I was just all caught up being domestic and the show didn't even start until 10pm. I was kinda tired. Oh well. I'm sure they will come back in a year or so. I've seen them more times than any other band except maybe The Seraphix and that doesn't really count. It's likely I would have been able to visit with them a little bit here at this venue, but I just didn't feel like going. I haven't really talked to any of those guys in person since I got clean the first time. I've chatted with them on myspace but the last time they actually saw me in person, I was really whacked out on speed. I saw them last year but it was at the Masquerade and I didn't get a chance to talk to them. None of the girls I knew are even in the band anymore. The only ones I know now are Frank, Marsten and Charles. But it would have been nice to see them. Oh well.

Went to a great meeting last night over near where Harris Teeter is. It started out in one big room then broke off into a womens' meeting (which I went to), a 12&12 study, a mens' meeting, a beginners' meeting and a closed discussion. Then everyone reconvened at the end for chips and announcements. I met a lot of cool people, got a lot of numbers, etc. I'll be going back tomorrow night, it's Tuesdays and Thursdays. I met a girl named Kat, ironically, who is a 2nd year grad student at Vandy for early childhood education. So that rocks! She's very nice, although I think she's much younger than me. She seems to have at least 5 ys sober, too. So I'll probably be calling her a lot for advice on school as well as meetings. Everyone told me about a cool clubhouse called The Back Room so I'm gonna check that out too. Actually, my sponsee, Rachel, told me about it also. Apparently the clubhouse right by school is not so cool. Sounds like NABA to me. Bleh. So, I was very stoked last night to meet so many cool people and to find a meeting I really liked.

I really wish we could have found a place to live over there, but it just didn't work out. It's a lot more expensive, and where we live now is already expensive enough being in the ghettro. Over the river and through the hood! That's us!

Ok so that's it for today. Gonna go work on shoes some more then go to bed. Talk to you later!!

Finally!!

I finally got my cable internet working. Yay! So, I can resume internet activity now.

There is so much I could talk about, mostly bitching but I'll try to just talk about good stuff. We are moved. We have a zillion boxes to unpack and very little progress has been made, especially since our satellite tv got turned on the other day. So much to do! I feel like I shouldn't go anywhere, even meetings, cuz I should be unpacking and I wanted to be unpacked by the time I start school. That is going to be impossible.

Not all of our stuff that was supposed to go in the house will even fit in the house. That stuff is in the shed. The move-in was a huge pain in the ass. At least I have the kitchen unpacked and I have my desktop up and running. I've been working on my bathroom and my clothes next. This place is just apparently smaller and laid out weird so it's hard to place furniture in it.

Other than that, I have been to a meeting near my house and it was really weird. I am going to another one tonite that a girl from the one I went to told me about in Green Hills on the other side of town. I'm sure I will find some good ones.

I feel really weird being here and not knowing anyone. When I moved to California, I already knew a bunch of people and I had been there several times so I *sorta* knew my way around. I know nothing here. I do have that one girl, Kristin, that I need to call, but, like I said, I feel like I shouldn't be going out or doing anything because I have so much work to do at home. I even feel guilty for being on the computer right now.

I keep feeling like I should be going someplace - like I'm expected somewhere, but then I remember that I'm not. No meetings I should be at where people expect me, no classes yet, nothing. It's weird. It's also VERY hot. It will be in the 100's the rest of the week. Last night it was 90 at midnight.

But, our neighbors are nice. We have a couple with 2 little kids and a dog they keep in their backyard all the time and never pay attention to on one side, and a gay couple with one of their sons on the other side. The gay guys' house is badass. Even the mail carrier introduced herself to us. So people have been very nice so far, which is nice.

I guess I'm going to eat now and then try to unpack some things. I need to find the PIN number for my financial aid. I really am not sure where that is. That's another thing - I'm paranoid that I haven't done all the paperwork that I was supposed to do for school. I guess I'll find out.

K gonna eat and then ttyl.

BTW I'm coming home to Atlanta this weekend. Might stay until Tuesday morning, don't know yet.